As of late I don't feel like me.  I get up and I go to school.  I come home and I do home work.  I clean the house.  I look for a job.  I play with the dog.  I do laundry.  I see my friends.  Chase and I have dinner.  We watch TV.  We got to bed.  All of this is normal but I feel disconnected, like I watching all this go on around me and that I'm not really apart of it.

Next month is EOF for me.  EOF is end of funds.  That's when my savings that I've been living off for the past 6 months runs out.  I thought I would have a job by now, maybe not as good as the one from which I was laid off but a job none the less.  I think this is what makes me feel like this is not real.  I've always had two sometimes three jobs.  I never saw my life going this way.  I never thought I would not be able to make a car payment or a house payment.  This can't be my life.  I need to just wake up from this terrible dream.

I really don't know what to do to snap out of this.  I want to wake up and live my life and not just walk through it in a fog.  I know having a job will help but I don't know when or where that is going to come from.  I'm not complaining and I am thankful for the things in my life that I do have.  I have a home for now.  I have a great partner, wonderful friends, and loving family.  But I want my life back.  I want to feel like I have a purpose and am contributing to society.

OK... that's all I can write for now as I don't want to sound like a whiny little bitch.  I'm off to Skot's for game night.  Time for some Killer Bunnies and Yahtzee.