The Single In Me
My friend Pammy is seeing a new guy named Brian. He seems nice enough and I'm happy for her but now she is a couple again. When I met Pammy, many years ago, she was engaged to Tom. I always knew her as a couple. Then they got divorced and I got to know Pammy as a single, not Pam and Tom. Now single Pammy is gone and replaced with Pammy and Brian. With Skot and Mike I've always known them as Skot and Mike. When I see mutual friends they ask how is Skot and Mike, not how is Skot or how is Mike. All the people that I know as couples fall into this scheme. When we are a couple do we loose part of our own identity and become 2 people that are one? If so, are we giving anything up? I don't really know because I've never been a couple and now I'm not so sure that is what I want.
I know I want love and companionship, but I don't know if I want to or can give up the single me. Maybe I'm afraid of loosing myself? Maybe I have some genetic flaw that won't allow me to couple. Maybe I'm afraid of being hurt. Maybe I'm just to use to being alone and independent. Maybe I'm making excuses because I'm having terrible luck even finding a date. Perhaps you don't loose yourself or your independence? Maybe it's worth the trade as you gain something from being a couple? I don't have the answers to any of these questions and I don't know that I ever will. I may never know the couple I could be versus the single in me.






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